A LETTER TO THE POLICE ON THE MISSING FISH

“It is with shock that I announce to you that some enemies of progress have reduced the normal three fishes inside "TITUS" sardine to two fishes. NAFDAC has to act now or we will protest. If this situation is not addressed, you will open "TITUS" Sardine one day and find only the oil...!!!

Dear Police,

It is with utmost deference and unquestioned patriotism that I write this letter to you and I, like other Nigerians hope you get to read and act on it. I know you are busy and heavily laden with matters of public interest, especially with this long-running state of insecurity in the nation; the Boko Haram terrorism fight, the rampant kidnap occurrences, ethnic and communal clashes, the mounting day-to-day criminal activities that seem to enjoy a field day in Nigeria not to mention the shocking raid on police posts and slaying of security personnel. Your hands seem full, yet, I cannot suffer to remain silent with this very crucial alarm recently being raised by fellow Nigerians.

Perhaps, I would not have bothered to bother you, but events of recent dictates otherwise. It started with a colleague at work who told me he saw a remark while surfing the social network sites and that he would love me to create attention on the laughable but backward development. On hearing the discovery and his concern, I did permit a slight laughter, but the thought did not go beyond that. However, few days later, I came across a friend’s update on Facebook with the same exposé. I was then compelled to really give this a serious thought, not only because this was gathering momentum but also as a concerned Nigeria.

“It is with shock that I announce to you that some enemies of progress have reduced the normal three fishes inside "TITUS" sardine to two fishes. NAFDAC has to act now or we will protest. If this situation is not addressed, you will open "TITUS" Sardine one day and find only the oil...!!!

Sir, this is not funny. I have an inkling you are amused at this laughter-evoking observation. I have equally betrayed emotion over and again, but that laughter is one inundated with deep thought and solemn reflection. The observation is comical but not untrue. It reveals the retrogressing state of a nation and further expresses fear over her future.

Let me bore you a bit with a personal experience sir, though ashamed to confess that the last time I bolstered enough financial muscle to purchase a can of seafood was during my national youth service year. The sardine is canned and can be taking without having to kindle the stove. In a bid to preclude the burden of having to fry every now and then in a male-dominated quarters, we thought it wise to go for the canned food. I don’t know of others anymore, but I still remember vividly, the shock that soaked us on hearing the price of this product in the market. Cladded in our NYSC ceremonial regalia, feeling so super-patriotic as though we were the most important set of people in the market, we stood there stunned with our legs glued to the spot. As I write this now, I cannot also recall a time we sat down to review the new meal method, but the truth is: there was never a second shopping for canned sea food.

The resolve to call your attention to this is to find a lasting solution to this unsavoury development. I doubt the economic mess in Nigeria could have degenerated as to necessitate this action – although it’s a possibility – but I am left with no other choice but to join the agitation for unwarranted extortion in products and market prices. Perhaps you do not know, but this has arose in us and our parents/guardians a source of concern. Painfully, it has caused our minds to wonder relentlessly and wander aimlessly. To this end, I was compelled to reason along with my colleague who feels the rising rate of kidnapping in Nigeria has extended its tentacles to product contents and hence abducted one of the three fishes hitherto found in the can.

A Nigerian youth whose river of optimism has run dry felt this effort was unnecessary as he has long mourned the death of the third fish. He was furious at a suggestion that the third fish be declared missing because the manufacturing companies may not be aware of the development themselves. He claimed this has been the negative trend of late now with a change not in sight. Five litres of petrol can no longer fill a four-litre keg to near-brim; a kilo of turkey at a frozen food shop is - with impunity - sold not minding the fact that it weighs lesser on scale or - in some instances - not even weighed. The bowls in the markets have shrunk in size (the handiwork of the sun, rain or man?) reducing the content of a derica of gaari. In spite of all these, the price never fail to soar.

I can go on and on but may not have to because I do not intend to take much of your time. Of course, you patronize the same market and know I speak nothing but the truth. Out of the love for our country, I urge that an extensive search must begin at the moment just as it has been in kidnapping issues involving high profile Nigerians. Although, it is true we’ve failed so far to stem the tide or even crack most of the abduction cases, that notwithstanding, we should hear from the abductors of this fish and know how much ransom we may have to pay as usual. I must divulge this security info to you so that some Nigerian youths already canvassing for a revolution over this matter will not make good their threat. They said if care is not taken, one day,   the enemies of progress will “start reducing the content in St. louis cube sugar and cabin biscuit too!.”

Again sir, I do not want to subscribe to the argument that the fish in question cannot be found anymore on the premise that such is insignificant an issue in a nation where a whole ship got missing, where a priest’s robe was disregarded as he was snatched, where a Minister’s mother was abducted from her palace, and where at the moment, all effort to re-unite the sister to the Senior Adviser to the President on Research, Documentation and Strategy, Mr. Oronto Douglas has yet to yield fruit. My belief - although unconvincing to me as well - is that we still have some officers who are able and courageous to take up this challenge. A section of the public claimed the police is poorly armed and will never go out weapon for weapon with criminals out there. They even corroborated their argument on police vulnerability, citing the recent assault on a police station in Kaduna. A officer who was yet to recover from the shock narrated to newsmen that, “the robbers ordered us to come out and lie down on the road. Some of the robbers were standing over us.” He further added that: “I want you to please tell government to give us surveillance and communication equipment. We are just here facing danger everyday. If the armed robbers had wanted, they could have killed all of us, because they had better arms, and were more in number.” I do not want to believe it will continue like this, though the writing on the wall implies otherwise.

Why our economy sticks around mess, we do not know. But look deep again and we realize we know. Or for instance, how else do we explain the moribund power sector that has transmogrified into a money-sucking machine, with nothing to show. A lot has been invested in this maturation-determining sector with little or nothing of yield. Though, it may be unfair to say we gained nothing, after all, there was a successful change of name. This notwithstanding, there seem to be a glimmer of hope with the on-going privatization of the sector. We however hope these corpse will be well buried with no part exposed. Or else, non-payment of severance to laid-off workers may stir up another hindrance as the workers have threatened to shut down power plants if not paid.

Suffice to say that if power is steady, there is more likelihood of a rapid improvement in business and the economy. Imaginably, we would have had numerous producers of canned foods to create a competitive market. Multi-national companies will not relocate to Ghana and wealthy Nigerians will have no reason to jettison the love of the nation to invest in foreign nations alone. If we have investors around, our youths will be meaningfully engaged, have an environment to display and develop their full potentials thereby, contribute to our national Gross Domestic Product. They will envision a bright future and will not be cheaply bought over by self-centred politicians. They will be too pre-occupied with the thought of a better tomorrow than to indulge in criminal activities. There will be no fear of a sect attack in the north nor the risk of abduction in the south. Again, those lives that perished in Lampendusa all in a bid to sneak into Europe in search of a better live - that is unfortunately not always there – would not have.

Don’t say I am one-sided by directing this letter to you while relevant agencies like the National Agency for Food and Drug Administration and Control (NAFDAC), and the Standard Organisation of Nigeria (SON), who have one thing or the other to do regarding the issues at hand are ignored. The neglect is intentional because the complaint is becoming tiring. Many of these agencies are established for these purposes, but have unreservedly failed to carry out their statutory responsibilities. The fear of NAFDAC since the departure of that Iron lady called Dora Akunyili is no more the beginning of wisdom. One wonders how on earth citizens today enjoy the free will to smoke their heart out when the Act that established the National Drug Law Enforcement Agency (NDLEA) is yet to be revoked. Do we say we don’t know this hard drugs are sold in our various motor parks or that Nigeria is a dumping ground for products that fail to meet up with industrial standards as recommended by the Nigerian Standards Council.

We all know the reason for the creation of the Petroleum Product Pricing Regulatory Agency (PPPRA), and the Department of Petroleum Resources (DPP). But with the persistent ill experience with our fuel stations; refusal to sell in order to create artificial fuel scarcity, illegal increase of fuel price, fraudulent adjustment of fuel pump and sale of adulterated products, we are forced to ask, do they exist as de facto or de jure agencies?

Let me not discommode you with these thought-provoking questions begging for answers as you are yet to clear your table of other burning issues. Thanking you in anticipation for the re-union with the third fish.